S.T. L.

“What made you want to ask me out?” I ask him instead.

His grin spreads wider. “You’re deflecting, but I’ll bite. You’ve been in my head. Your turn,” he says, leaning up on the table with his elbows.

“You’ve been in my head too.”

“Ah, see, that’s cheating. You can’t just parrot my words to keep from disclosing too much. That’s a commonly used tool in a detached personality.”

If he’d seen the evil I’ve seen, he’d understand why some people deserve to die

ME: We really need to see each other again. Texting sucks.

LANA: I agree. My fingers are getting cramps.

ME: Anything going on in two days? I have no breakfast plans.

LANA: Two days from now I’ll be in West Virginia. What about tomorrow?

ME: Can’t. I have to fly up to Boston for a quick briefing. I’ll be back tomorrow night, but I have too much work to finish up with. It’ll be well after midnight before I leave. IF I leave.

LANA: So, texting is fun, huh?

LOGAN: Craig just asked if you were gay.

ME: Who’s Craig?

LOGAN: You have no idea how much I enjoy that answer. In fact, I just drew a few curious looks about why I’m laughing.

I have no clue why he finds that so funny.

ME: Seriously, who’s Craig?

LOGAN: I really want to see you again.

ME: Well, let’s just both quit our jobs so we can finally have a date.

LOGAN: With the dead ends I’m finding on all my cases, I’m starting to wonder if it isn’t time for a career change.

ME: If it makes you feel any better, I contemplated a career change too. Met a guy yesterday who was trading all his wife’s dildos for a pressure washer. -.-  The wife was furious when I showed up to inspect the quality of her “toys.”

At least that’s true. I hate the times I have to lie to him.

LOGAN: I just spat coffee all over my desk.

ME: How coincidental. She was apparently a spitter too. The husband informed me of that as if I wanted to know. #overshare

LOGAN: Stop. Please stop. Everyone here thinks I’m insane for laughing this hard.

ME: It wasn’t the most awkward encounter I’ve had, but it certainly won’t make any of my highlight reels either.

LOGAN: So the dildos didn’t get traded for the pressure washer?

ME: Nope. And I learned that she’ll need them more than ever, since he won’t be touching her for a while, according to her. He wasn’t happy when I left. Apparently it was my fault for showing up an hour early, because she would have been gone otherwise.

LOGAN: Okay. You win. I can’t compete with that.

ME: #LifeGoals

LOGAN: Do you always go to the coffee shop where I met you?

ME: Umm…that’s an abrupt shift in convo, but yes, I do. I moved here a little over a month ago, and that was the first decent cup I found.

LOGAN: Then I wish I had stopped there sooner than that day. I had some downtime two weeks earlier. We could have been doing this in person then.

ME: You don’t always go there?

LOGAN: That was my first time. Craig and I went to address some of the higher-ups about some security measures. We only stopped in that day because our regular spot was closed for renovations.

ME: Oh THAT’s Craig!

LOGAN: You seriously didn’t remember his name?

ME: I only retain the names of people I like or want to kill.

I cringe when I read that back, realizing that’s not a good joke—even though it’s true—to make to a FBI agent.

LOGAN: Hope I’m on the right list.

I blow out a breath, then smile at the morbid joke, now that I know he’s not taking it seriously.

ME: You are. Currently, you’re at the top of the right list. It’s been a while since I smiled like I do when we talk.

LOGAN: I should have kissed you.

My heart thumps in my chest as I read that back. Then I read it again. And again. And again.

ME: Yes. You should have. Then I could have been spared the awkward wave I gave.

LOGAN: But the REALLY awkward wave was cute.

ME: Ha. Funny guy. I see how it is. It’s been a while since I tried the dating scene

Since it’s wishful thinking and incredibly presumptuous to bring a bag, I toss it in the back, hoping she doesn’t notice it and realize I’m expecting a lot more than I should be. Obviously I’ll leave as soon as I get there if she wants me to, but I’m really hoping she doesn’t want me to leave.

Because Lana Myers has been in my head since the day I met her, and it’d be nice if someone noticed I was missing

It’s hard to watch them live their lives for a month. I have to watch them loving the freedom they stole from me. The freedom they stole from us.

Without any makeup, you can see a few faint scars.

I spent a lot of money to help make sure there were as few scars as possible. Victoria Evans was a poor girl from Delaney Grove, but Kennedy Carlyle was an heiress who died in a car accident the same night my death certificate was signed. She was so mangled and unrecognizable that Jake had no problem shifting the info around in the computers

Which I realize is probably psychotic, but I wasn’t born this way. They turned me into this. Karma wasn’t finding them. Neither was justice. Destiny seemed content with leaving them on their perfect little paths of love, peace, and blissfulness.

Only one person wanted them to suffer. Well, two. Jake wanted them to hurt as much as they hurt me. As much as they hurt—

My eyes flick back to where Tyler is already cleaning up. He’s just as quick as I remember