Courtney Peppernell

Please believe this

As easily as the sun rises

You are enough

Sadness feels like a lifelong friend some days. As though I cannot let it go, because I am not sure who I would be without it.

Sometimes I wonder if fear is really the ghosts inside us

of the things we should have said

but didn’t

But all the things you can’t stand

about yourself

are all the things I can’t

go a day without.

It hurts a little and sometimes a lot

when you care about someone

but you’re both kind of messy

and the timing is all wrong

and you don’t feel like

kissing someone else

but you can’t force what’s not

and letting someone in

is scary enough

but even scarier

when your heart

isn’t as strong

That’s the thing about moving on. You are never going to find a love quite like the one before. The key is to stop wanting the same things and embrace the things to come.

There were many occasions when placing an out of order sign across your heart seemed the wisest decision to make. Only you didn’t. Instead you kept your heart open, invited people in. And even when they were reckless, messy and selfish you chose to remain open: a shift that never ends, a light that always stays on, a beacon in the darkest night, a melody that carries on. I am in awe of you: an open prairie amongst an ever-changing cycle of wind

I feel as though I am always writing my first draft. As though my life is a series of edits that I never have time to complete.

We cannot all be artists

and I must admit I do not know how to paint

But if I were to take a palette

all my colours would be of you

I know you’re scared right now

Maybe you miss

Someone

Maybe your heart hurts a little

Or a lot

Or maybe you’re not quite sure

Of who you are

Or what you want

But that feeling you

Want back

The one where it doesn’t seem

Like the whole world is against

You

It’s still here

It never really left

And one day you will realise

That the only person

Who can find it again

Is you