Emma

There is something effervescent about Eloise. She seems unsinkable somehow, like no matter what life throws her way, she’ll bob right back up to the surface with a smile.

And teddy bear slippers.

A massive part of me—the smartest part—keeps trying to remind me of the boundaries I felt so sure I needed to keep in place. Another part, playing a very lawyer-y devil’s advocate, wants to know if I REALLY need those boundaries and what’s the worst that could happen.

The worst is also the best, Jacob. You could fall in love.

My love life has turned into the digital equivalent of Frank’s legendary fishing story

As optimistic as I am, I have a healthy dose of cynical realist living inside me watching everything with a narrow, assessing gaze

She peeks an eye open and smiles, earning one from me. They come a lot easier when she’s around. I think Lo likes the serious version of me as much as this one—the one where I feel loose and light and unbelievably happy.

“You are a very good way to start the morning,” she says, her voice low.

“Just so we’re clear—you’re the one sending me away here, Jake.”

He shakes his head dismissively. “You were always going to leave.”

I give him a quick, decisive nod before shouldering my bag and pushing out the door. I’m grateful most of my tears hold on until my back is to him.

He’s right—I was always going to leave.

I just hoped he’d give me a reason to stay.

He also helped me formulate a list of all the things we love about you, and I thought I’d share it, unedited.

You have unparalleled fashion sense. Even if I am allergic to pineapples.
You light up the room with your optimism and enthusiasm for basically everything.
You make people feel good when you talk to them. You listen with your entire body, like what people say really matters to you.
You are an incredible kisser. Best I’ve ever experienced. (Liam wants you to know he did not contribute to this one, and he thinks I’m gross.)
You are very good at being unapologetically you. Not many women have that kind of confidence at twenty-one.
I see your eyes every time I close mine, and I don’t think there’s anything more beautiful.
You make me want to be better. Nicer. Humbler. Less … grumpy.
Love, Jake

Of course, I thought of you.

I sense a pattern developing.

Luckily, I really like thinking of you, so I can’t say I mind that I see you everywhere, in everything.

Love, Jake

Hearts are messy, complicated things. I’m trying to do better at listening to mine. To believe that happiness is something I might actually deserve. Your grandmother once told me I wouldn’t believe the way the world opens up when a person decides to love.

I think I finally understand what she meant.

Love, Jake