“Melvin,” I said, “relax. I don’t grade on a curve. Just tell me everything you can remember about the best meal you ever had in your life.”
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your social self watches to make sure the feeling is reciprocal before allowing you to stand underneath your beloved’s window singing serenades.
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the vast majority of us put other people in charge of charting our course through life. We never even consult our own navigational equipment; instead, we steer our lives according to the instructions of people who have no idea how to find our North Stars.
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anything that won social approval.
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Whatever you learned to be, you’re still learning
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contrary to our core desires.
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internal conflict is a way of life
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You, for example, are not one of them.
How do I know? Because if you were totally dominated by your essential self, you wouldn’t be reading this.
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To find your North Star, you must teach your social self to relax and back off.
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All of this is just to say that if you push far enough toward any extreme, you eventually reach its opposite.
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