Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life

What is it like to be embarrassed to look into your pocketbook for fear of others seeing what a mess it is inside? What is it like to feel so ashamed of your living room that you don’t invite people over? What is it like to feel stupid even if you “know” you are smart

Doctors Hallowell and Ratey in Delivered from Distraction have a lot to say on this in Chapter 25.

It may make you uncomfortable for awhile to say no, but again, if you think of saying no as a way to protect relationships by not over committing and then breaking promises, you will be acting in service of the relationship.

hen you do actually talk to the person, avoid over apologizing or putting yourself down. And don’t try and make up for all the relationship difficulties you think you have caused in the past. You can simply say, “I’ve missed you” in an email or voice message and go on from there. Sometimes there will actually be someone who will want you to go to extremes to pay for perceived insults; then you will have to decide if the relationship is worth pursuing. At this point, though, we are just talking about getting past the first hurdle of reconnecting.

If you are afraid of being reprimanded for waiting too long to call and that is keeping you from reconnecting, you have to find a way to test the emotional waters.
You may need to break the ice by having someone else call up and setting up a get together for several people. Or you may have someone open the letter or email you are afraid to open or listen to the voice mail message and have them scan it first to see if the true force of your negative expectations are accurate or not. These measures may seem extreme, but it is better than to go on avoiding.

Expression has to do with trusting yourself to express your ideas and to respond clearly.

restructuring her life, renegotiating her relationships, and redefining her self-image.

I will outline the MESST model of treatment I have devised, an acronym for Medication, Education, Strategies, Support and Therapy

Even after diagnosis and medical treatment, women continue to have serious inner barriers to getting the support they need with their real life problems. This is due to the shame they feel about not being able to meet gender role expectations because of their AD/HD challenges.

Those who have remained undiagnosed the longest often have the most serious consequences, especially in the way they internalize their problems, which often results in depression, anxiety, and self-image struggles.