Everybody Lies

Sometimes a new dataset reveals a behavior, desire, or concern that I would have never even considered. There are numerous sexual proclivities that fall into this category. For example, did you know that in India the number one search beginning “my husband wants . . .” is “my husband wants me to breastfeed him”? This comment is far more common in India than in other countries. Moreover, porn searches for depictions of women breastfeeding men are four times higher in India and Bangladesh than in any other country in the world. I certainly never would have suspected that before I saw the data.

A woman is likely to be interested when she talks about herself. It turns out that, for a man looking to connect, the most beautiful word you can hear from a woman’s mouth may be “I”: it’s a sign she is feeling comfortable. A woman also is likely to be interested if she uses self-marking phrases such as “Ya know?” and “I mean.” Why? The scientists noted that these phrases invite the listener’s attention. They are friendly and warm and suggest a person is looking to connect, ya know what I mean?

One of the ways a man signals that he is attracted is obvious: he laughs at a woman’s jokes. Another is less obvious: when speaking, he limits the range of his pitch. There is research that suggests a monotone voice is often seen by women as masculine, which implies that men, perhaps subconsciously, exaggerate their masculinity when they like a woman.