The Kitchen Magpie

A bit like memorial services, but in a pub rather than a church, and with booze and food instead of prayers and hymns.

When grating Parmesan cheese only very slight pressure should be exerted. Forgive my rusty Italian, but la grattugia deve baciare il formaggio, which (fingers crossed) translates as ‘the cheese grater should kiss the cheese’. The point is, grating Parmesan should be a gentle action, not a bicep-building exercise.

Knife tip
Always carry a knife pointing towards the floor. Unless lots of people are lying on the floor.

The word ‘foodie’ was coined around 1980, when the world’s population of foodies had yet to boom. In those days, foodies dreamt of prawn avocado, over-poached salmon and lumpy chocolate mousse. Today, the foodie still dreams of all those things.

Some people go through life with no interest in food. Then, one morning, they awake to discover a love of cooking, and they raise their hands to the heavens and say, “I was blind but now I can see the oven.”

That is because they are immersed in thought, painting colourful layers of foodie-ness over the dull subjects: silently contemplating Abraham Lincoln’s love of apples or how Pope Sixtus (was it the fourth or fifth?) drank not a sip, but a whole glass of wine in between mouthfuls of food.