The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

In that painful moment when we don’t live up to our own standards, do we condemn ourselves or truly appreciate the paradox of being human?

Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises spontaneously. By not knowing, not hoping to know, and not acting like we know what’s happening, we begin to access our inner strength.

The secret of Zen is just two words: not always so.

The real function of a spiritual friend is to insult you.

The “secret” of life that we are all looking for is just this: to develop through sitting and daily life practice the power and courage to return to that which we have spent a lifetime hiding from, to rest in the bodily experience of the present moment—even if it is a feeling of being humiliated, of failing, of abandonment, of unfairness.

So these are the six activities of the warrior:

Generosity. Giving as a path of learning to let go.

Discipline. Training in not causing harm in a way that is daring and flexible.

Patience. Training in abiding with the restlessness of our energy and letting things evolve at their own speed. If waking up takes forever, still we go moment by moment, giving up all hope of fruition and enjoying the process.

Joyful enthusiasm. Letting go of our perfectionism and connecting with the living quality of every moment.

Meditation. Training in coming back to being right here with gentleness and precision.

Prajna. Cultivating an open, inquiring mind. With these six activities of the bodhisattva, we learn how to travel to the other shore, and we do our best to take everyone we can find along with us.

When we give up the hope of doing it right and the fear of getting it wrong, we realize that winning and losing are both acceptable. In either case, we have nothing to hang on to. Moment by moment we are traveling to the other shore.

What will happen to us today is completely unknown, as unknown as what will happen at death. Whatever happens, our commitment is to use it to awaken our heart.

Instead of letting the experience soften her up, she used it to strengthen her hardness and indifference.

When we are willing to stay even a moment with uncomfortable energy, we gradually learn not to fear it. Then when we see someone in distress we’re not reluctant to breathe in the person’s suffering and send out relief.