These seem to be your main points: . . . Is that right?”
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You seem worried about . . .” “If I understand, your idea is . . . Did I get the essence of it? If not, please tell me more.” “It sounds like your main concern is . . .”
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Prepare as you would for any other feedback conversation: Focus on behaviors, practice your language ahead of time, probe for root causes, and close the conversation by agreeing on an improvement plan. Document what happened in a follow-up e-mail or private chat
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A harried employee will read “Are you on track for Friday’s deadline?” as aggressive and maybe even mistrustful, but “Looking forward to seeing the product demo on Friday! Anything you need from me?” communicates enthusiasm and a team mind-set
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Instead of watching how people work, you’re seeing what they produce—the number of sales they’ve made, the code they’ve written, the video they’ve produced
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Build on existing relationships or affinities. You don’t need to create perfect harmony across the whole team. Instead, encourage team members to find allies who can help them navigate what’s unfamiliar and to develop new networks
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As team leader, you have an outsized influence on your group’s dynamic: You send more messages to more people, about more topics, than does anyone else on the team. If you have any bad habits, they will be felt and possibly adopted by more people
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Hold regular meetings, ideally on the same day and at the same time each week, starting and finishing on time. Make the meeting agendas routine where possible, and share them ahead of time.
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Let them know that recognizing collaboration in others makes them look good, too. Develop norms for how members communicate that they “see” each other’s work, and give feedback wherever possible.
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Encourage people to acknowledge each other’s work. Praise people for calling out each other’s successes