The Power of Eye Contact

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

Typically the lower-status individual in any interaction breaks eye contact first by looking down; this is as true in humans as in other primates. This is the classic “look of shame.” It communicates “You win; you’re better than me; you have more power than me.”

When someone says “I love you,” we look into that person’s eyes to judge his or her sincerity. . . . If you were to approach a one-year-old child who sits playing on the floor and do something a little bit puzzling, such as cupping your hands over hers, the child would immediately look into your eyes. Why? Because what you have done requires explanation, and the child knows she can find an answer on your face.13

Not surprisingly, the emotions that are most quickly and readily detected in the face and eyes are fear, anger, and surprise, Ekman told me.

Actually, maybe I was—all babies are natural eye contact pros, as we’ll soon see. But we lose this facility quickly as self-consciousness develops.

Implicit in this phrase is the idea that we cannot tell a lie when we are looking someone in the eyes; whatever our mouths say, we believe that our eyes will tell the truth.

“[T]he mirror of the mind is the face, its index the eyes,” Cicero